Practical Joke: The Wife Hunter July 16, 2014
Author: Beach Combing | in : Modern , trackback
Practical jokes were often fairly of poor fare in the nineteenth century. However, there is something amusingly diabolical about this one, particularly if you remember that no one died and that the wife hunter learnt that there were probably better ways to find true love .
It appears that a Manchester tradesman short time ago advertised for a wife. A young gentleman of Kendal, seeing the advertisement, replied to it, and after a lengthened correspondence between them, in which ‘cartes’ were exchanged, it was arranged that the Manchester tradesman should come over to Kendal on Saturday evening week have an interview with his ‘adored one,’ as he called the young gentleman in his letters.
When Beach first read this he assumed that there was some homosexual code and molly bating going on. However, the ‘young gentleman’ was, it transpires, writing on scented rose paper as one of the ‘weaker’ sex. Now imagine the good old wife hunter with his hair slicked back in a desperate attempt to disguise his baldness and his mouth reeking of mint. Feel his vulnerability as he tramps up from the station to the local park, then tremble as you read ‘about thirty other young gentlemen’.
In pursuance of this arrangement the wife hunter reached Kendal the evening above mentioned, and on his arrival at the ‘trysting place’ he was captured by his ‘adored one’ and about thirty other young gentlemen of the town, who ushered him into a room prepared for the purpose. He was then formally tried by a judge and jury, and, although defended, he was found guilty and sentenced to stand a dozen sherry.
Of course, this was a kangaroo court. The wife hunter did though, at least for a moment, fight back.
During the trial he managed to break the window, and, ejecting his head, made some terrible and heartrending cries of Murder! Police! This caused a crowd to assemble outside the inn, and a magistrate happening pass at the time, hearing the cries, sent for the police, and, much to the annoyance of the court, just when the prisoner was paying for the sherry, in stepped the police, headed by a magistrate and a cattle dealer.
I can make no sense of this reference to a cattle dealer. In Kendal, in any case, the police counted for little and a rather wicked joke verges worryingly towards a lynching.
The wife hunter, seeing policeman, broke loose, and jumped through the window. The crowd outside, on seeing him, immediately gave chase, and the victim of the sport, not being acquainted with the town, pursued his way the river, and, being closely followed the mob, plunged through, and, after a good ducking, landed on a place called ‘Goose Holme,’ and he hid himself under bridge. He, however, was again put off, after a second chase he was secured by the pursuers, who were about to tar and feather him, when he was rescued by the police and taken to the lock-up, where was detained until the crowd had dispersed.
All ends well and you’ve got to love the last clause.
The police, sympathising with the unfortunate fortune hunter, saw him off by the morning mail (two o’clock) for Manchester. It is very foolish to advertise for a wife in this manner, it is true, but it is hardly right to go to the extremes above narrated and it not a legitimate way of getting sherry.
Other 19 cent practical jokes? drbeachcombing AT yahoo DOT com
