Tread on Her Toes: And Other Regency Seduction Tips June 16, 2016
Author: Beach Combing | in : Modern , trackback
Beach ran across this guide to seduction while searching for proof about the ancient science of mole divination. The date is apparently Regency (early 1800s?). There is some nonsense about marriage not debauchery, but then we get down to the sexual brass tacks and there isn’t a vicar or congregation in sight.
First, your likely prey: ‘Widows, especially the young ones, are gamesome and buxom; for having once smelt to the spit, they always love a good joint’ [!!!].
Second, the approach. ‘lay aside whining or solemn protestations’
Third, the attack: ‘kiss them till their ears crack [no idea what this means…]; and when you find a convenient time and place, warm them with caresses, squeezing their hand, gently treading on their toes [honestly that one never worked for me]; and when you kiss, bear close to them, and you will soon perceive, by their eager looks, blushing, and their often changing of colour, that now is the time to ask a favour; to which you will have a faint denial if any at all, and then make use of your time, and press forward without delays, for they [delays] are dangerous; and many a fair opportunity has slipt, that could not be recovered, though earnestly pursued.’
Were the author alive today he would naturally be sent on a sexual harassment program by the first widow he met. However, he also has advice for women in search of prey.
Prey: ‘a brisk man’.
Approach: ‘you may use dumb signs, which is called love’s silent language, gaze on his face; then, when he perceives it, suddenly take off your eyes, and turn your head aside, blush naturally, forcingly hold in your breathing, and start a little when first you see him at any time, as if you were surprised; if he takes you by the hand grasp him with a little trembling…’
The frightened doe thing continues for a few lines and there is no attack… However, the maid or widow (that crucial category is also included) should, if kissed, ‘stay your lips on his a while, with great affection; and he must be very dull that will not take these for the signs of tender love.’
Quite.
Other seduction tips from our great great grandparents: drbeachcombing AT yahoo DOT com
The source is pictured below, as the reader will see, an authoritative tome:
