The Poison Duel 7#: Molever vs Mullins October 9, 2014
Author: Beach Combing | in : Modern , trackback
To add to the Poison Duels series here is another fictional story. This time from the Sunderland Daily Echo 17 July 1895, but taken originally from Tit Bit 21 July 1894. Beach loved it and found it more satisfying than the other poison duel set in Germany. Other Poison Duel fictions? Drbeachcombing AT yahoo DOT com
There were about a score of us assembled in the smoking-room of Tufnell Towers late one evening last autumn, after a longday’s shooting in the splendidly-stocked preserves of Sir Walworth Tufnell. At first our talk was all of sport, and old and young had each some tale to tell of heavy bags and narrow escapes in all parts of world. But by-and-bye our conversation drifted round to duelling, and anecdote after anecdote was told of the old days— which some openly sighed for— when a man was killed for insult.
‘May I ask if you ever fought?’ I said turning to Major Molever, a veteran of eighty, who had taken a leading part in the execution of the pheasants that day.
‘Did I ever fight?’
‘Yes, if the question is not too impertinent.’
‘Well,’ said the Major, with a smile, ‘I did fight once when I was youngster, and got such lesson that never fought in single combat again.’
‘You killed your man, I presume’, said Lord Glenton.
‘No, I proved myself a fool and coward, and lost a wife in the bargain.’
‘If the story is too painful for you to relate…’
‘Oh, I have passed all feeling of that kind,’ said the Major, ‘and you may have the story if you like. Besides, it has a moral for the youngsters, like all good tales should have.’
‘Let us have it, by all means,’ we said, one after another. And the following is what the Major told us:
My story goes back to the days before Her Majesty came to the throne. In the early thirties I was a young fellow of twenty-one, and a sub in one of the crack regiments the —th. I was as vain and conceited at that time, and as convinced of my importance in the Comic Scheme as any youth present. My father, General Molever, was a personal friend of His Majesty, and I was free of the best society. I had ample means, and lived the life of a butterfly, and exhibited about as much brains to an admiring world. There was a multitude of ladies of all degrees who were pining and sighing for my smile, (so it pleased me to believe), and my days were spent in the emptiest flirtation. But at last I met Lady Geraldine Bond at one of the Court balls, and for the first time I learnt what love meant. I was much struck with her—she was the reigning beauty of the season—got introduced to her, and danced several times with her that evening. Thereafter I was always to be found where she was. The intimacy ripened day by day, and, as I was good-looking fellow in those days, I fancied I had impressed her as much as she had me. After knowing her for a few weeks I proposed, and, to my delight, was accepted.
My affection for her was genuine, and the engagement sobered me somewhat. I left off some of my foolish habits, and things that could be called a worse name, and devoted myself solely to her. Fortunately, the parents on both sides were in favour of the union, and I was universally congratulated. At the next levée His Majesty spoke kindly to me about it. Perhaps things were running too smoothly for a happy issue into matrimony, and disaster soon followed — brought about by my own foolishness and conceit, as you will hear.
The doctor of the regiment I adorned was an Irishman, a noted wit, and the life and soul of the mess. He could tell the most ridiculous story without a smile or so much a twitching muscle. He did not spare the follies and the foibles of the youngsters of the mess, and we dreaded an encounter with him, for we were certain to come off second best. As soon as my engagement became known, I knew the doctor would amuse the mess at my expense, and so it proved, and proved me a fool.
‘Dear, dear!’ said he, as if to himself, ‘engaged so young! I know the Lady Geraldine. Not the one with a squint and freckle. No, no, of course that is Gertrude. I knew her when she was a girl of fourteen, and used to climb tree. A sweet mouth she had: I’ve kissed it many a time.’
A laugh went round, and I blushed mightily.
‘I beg your pardon, Dr. Mullens,’ said I, arrogantly ‘but you will please not to discuss the young lady at this tame. You must find another subject for your jokes.’
‘Joke? It is not a joke, boy. It is really a pretty mouth, as you ought to know. I haven’t seen her for two years, but she was as sweet as ever then.’ And again a laugh went round. There was nothing in this fora sane man to object to, but I was idiot enough to consider that my tenderest feelings were being made subject of mockery and the woman I loved insulted. Could I be a man, I asked myself, and allow it. And my brain, bested with wines, answered No!
‘I demand, Dr. Mullen,’ said I, ‘that you withdraw your offensive remarks, and at once.’
‘Don’t be a fool,’ said Major Gregory, from the head of the table: ‘surely you are not idiot enough to resent a little harmless pleasantry of that kind?’
‘This is my affair, I believe,’ I answered him. with what I meant to be a withering look of contempt. ‘I demand an apology for your offensive remark’ I added, turning the doctor.
‘That’s right, insist, insist,’ said the younger officers to me. They scented fun from my ridiculous behaviour, though at the time I took it for sympathy.
‘Very. well,’ said the doctor, with a mock timid air, ‘if you will sit down I will withdraw, Mr. Molevor.’
I sat down, and the doctor rose. ‘Gentlemen and Mr. Molevor I sorry to say that Lady Bond has not a pretty month.’
There was burst of laughter, and I lost all control over myself. I poured out a glass of wine and flung it in his face. ‘There,’ said I, ‘if you are not a coward, yon can take the proper means of satisfaction for that.’ Mullens was brave awn, as all knew, and had shown his courage many times.’ All he did was quietly to take his handkerchief from his pocket and wipe his face.
The older men were very indignant with me. ‘You have behaved disgracefully,’ said Major Gregory, who was the chief officer present.
With a show of dignity, which must have looked mightily ridiculous, I left the room, pausing to remark at the door; ‘I shall expect you to name your friend, Dr. Mullens. Mr. Goreley there will act for me.’
Goreley was my chum, and one those who had urged me on. I went to my rooms with the air of Athanasius contra mundum and waited there for couple of hours. Then I sent a note to Mullens, which ran ‘if you do not choose to seek the satisfaction of a gentleman, I give you notice that I shall horsewhip you at the first opportunity; that is if you do not choose to tender a full apology.’
About midnight Gorely came to my room with a grave face.
‘I have arranged it all,’ he said.
‘Gregory will be his second. But it is a bitter and black business, and I wish I were out of it.’
‘What is the matter?’
‘I suppose you understand he is the insulted party and has the choice of weapons.’
‘Yes, what of that?’
‘Well, he is bloodthirsty and this is to be to the death. I protested against the dastardly business, but there is no choice, you must go on or apologise, and I warn you he will take nothing less than an abject apology.’
And Gorely hid his face his hands and, as I thought, groaned.
‘You have no need to fear,’ I said, though my hair felt as if it were rising, ‘I shall not apologise.’
‘What weapons do you think the doctor has chosen?’
‘Pistols?’
‘No, pills!’
‘Pills? Is this a fresh insult?’
‘I wish it were. Two pills are being prepared exactly alike, one harmless, the other of strychnine. You are to take one, Mullens the other.’
‘Is this allowable?’ I stammered, almost sick with horror.
‘It is; the whole mess has been consulted, and Gregory has even been to Mr James Ingham [sp?], who is, as you know, the first authority on the duello. He says it is vindictive but perfectly lawful. I think, however, you should apologize.’
‘Never, never,’ I cried while [illegible] fought against the words. It was horrible as I thought of all, for I did not doubt that I should be the victim.
At Gorely’s suggestion, I made my will, but with such a trembling hand that I am afraid that it would have taxed an expert to decipher it. Next I wrote a note to be delivered to Geraldine in case of my death, telling her in high flown language that I died to save her name from insult.
Gorely advised me to sleep. I could more easily have flown. All through that wretched night I was pacing up and down, ??? myself for my folly and vowing if I came scatheless through the affair, I would be less arrogant.
At ?? Gorely called me. I took a cup of coffee with brandy, but it did little for me. I looked in the glass: I was as ghastly as a corpse. I believe if Gorely had asked me then to apologise I should have gone on my knees in gratitude to him, and have done it: but he only said, ‘Keep your pecker up, old fellow, and I’ll bet you’ll come alive out of it. But if you don’t you’ll have the satisfaction of dying as a brave man in a good cause.’ I didn’t feel much like a brave man, at any rate. The field of honour was to be the mess-room, and thither we went. It was but a few yards, but I had the greatest difficulty in walking there.
The room struck a chill to my heart.. All the blinds were drawn, there were only two solitary candles to light the vast room, which looked funereal. All the mess were assembled. Dr. Mullens looking quite as cheerful as usual. He gravely saluted me, and then we all sat down at the table, the doctor opposite me. I was glad we were seated, as my trembling legs were under the table and could not be seen. I was shown the pills: to all appearance they were exactly similar.
‘You are to have first choice, Molever’ said Major Gregory, ‘and the doctor will take the other.’
I bowed. My throat was so dry that I could not speak.
The pill-box was placed before me. My fingers trembled so much that I suppose it was quite a minute before I could fumble one out. Then the box was passed to the doctor, and he took the other.
‘Now,’ said the Major, ‘both of you place them in your mouth and swallow them when give I the word.’ I got mine in my mouth and, with great effort, got it down.
‘Swear on your honour you have swallowed them,’ said Gregory.
‘I swear I have swallowed it,’ I almost shrieked, for that pill burnt my throat and gullet as it went down. A glass of wine was handed to each of us, and then Muillins rose.
‘Molever,’ he said, ‘I am truly sorry the luck is against you. I know from the taste of my pill. It is the harmless one. I should like your pardon while there is time. Let us shake hands.’
But shake hands I could not. While he was speaking the agony began. My throat was burning, and I could trace the passage of the pill by a track of fire. There were awful pains stomach, and I could feel the poison was running with my blood over my body. My brain was on fire—l could not see. I fell from my chair and rolled in agony. ‘Save me! Save me! Oh!’ I groaned. I writhed and rolled on the floor. Since then I have seen war in all parts the world and have been wounded three times, but the pain was nothing to what I felt then. I could not seem to distinguish them, only I knew they were round watching death struggles.
‘Good heavens! It is a mistake, Mullens?’ I heard someone ask, and Mullens answered, ‘Of course not; it is just what I told you it would be. Fetch my stomach pump, Fletcher, and be quick about it.’
And then be knelt my side. ‘Poor fellow, does it hurt very much?’
‘I am dying, dying…’ and my voice rose in a shriek and I writhed and rolled again.
The doctor knelt and felt my pulse, and his face became very grave. Then he rose and whispered something to the others. Instantly there was a great shout of laughter that came [sic] peal upon peal for about three minutes.
Dying as I was, I raised myself on my elbow to look at the inhuman wretches who could look and laugh while a comrade lay dying in agony.
That look, I thought, would haunt them throughout their lives; but there came a louder peal than ever.
‘By Jove, Mullens, I couldn’t have believed it, although you were so confident,’ said Gregory.
‘The best, thing I ever saw. Ha! ha! ha!’ and the whole room roared again.
‘Get up, for goodness sake,’ said Goreley to me. ‘I’ve heard of bread pills before, but I did not know they were so deadly. Why, man, both pills were made bread, and you have been acting like that—’
Contempt and disgust would not let him finish.
‘It was very near being serious matter, though,’ said Mullens. ‘He had all but killed himself with fright.’ And they rolled this time in laughter. If a look could have done murder, I should have slain them all where they stood. With as much dignity as I could muster, I rose and left the room, feeling half-inclined to take a dose of strychnine in real earnest. Strange to say all my pains had left me as suddenly as they began.
It turned out as I had feared. Before the day was out the clubs and drawing rooms were in convulsions with the tale, and I believe his Majesty was even entertained with it. I could not summon sufficient courage to visit Geraldine that day, and when I did see her I knew of no excuse that would be of any avail. But I was spared all excuses. The next day when I went to see her, the footman told me she was not at home. I met her the day after— she cut me dead. I got an immediate exchange into a regiment, stationed in India, and did not return to England for fourteen years. My name has been mentioned in the despatches three times for conspicuous bravery. That bloodless duel cured me vanity, I lost the woman I loved, which was a heavy price to pay.’
‘But what caused all your symptoms, Major?’ we asked.
‘Simply and solely my imagination,’ answered the Major. ‘Mullens solemnly declared that if I had been left a few minutes longer it would have been all over with me.’
